[It is unlike him to do this in this fashion, but he recognizes the necessity of it. Still, when he reaches out it is unlike the gentle brush of Cathaway, uncolored by emotion, an empty space that seemed to gape, somehow nearly as unsettling as a mind too bare. His words are preceded by the obviousness of his attention, an anticipation, the mental equivalent to clearing his throat. And the words- stony and without warmth or comfort, unyielding and stern. He will not react to interruption. He won't even hear it.]
There are many things to discuss with you. [You- you, all of you, everyone he addressed- the clear knowledge that it was not a personal message, but a shared one.] This mission was a failure. Do not think to see it as anything less. The simplest of exercises intended only to allow those unaccustomed to gain some small experience with unfamiliar places. A harmless excursion.
[There's a pause, like a breath, a cold wind going colder.]
It was my failure that I saw you as anything but children, incapable of understanding that your choices have consequences. It is not a mistake I will make again. Your actions have proven you to be irresponsible, dangerous, and foolish. And as a result one of your own has died, for nothing. Those in his brood have now lost something irreplaceable. Do not imagine this feeling will go, do not imagine this emptiness will be filled by another. It will not. You will never be as strong as you could have been with him.
[It is simple fact, even as they grew they would lend each other strength. Now they had one less to draw from. There was a potential they would never reach. He has been cold, he is still cold, but for those in Adara there is an echo, more than simple sympathy. A clear understanding of what it is they have suffered.]
Hosts are lost. This is the reality of our situation, but Adam Parker did not die because we sought to strike a blow against the ones who hunt us. He did not even die because he made a foolish mistake. He died because you made a selfish choice. Remember this, your decisions effect more than you. Even your own life is not just yours any longer. You should be at least responsible enough not to drag those who should be able to rely on to their death.
[There is little point to this, he knows. Those that had behaved poorly would not listen to words, and if they had not yet learned a lesson there would be more loss and more suffering before they did. Still, this is too soon for this.]
There will be some time before you will be sent on your first true mission. I suggest you use it to better yourselves, for all of your sake.
[And the connection drops- cleanly as if he had flipped a switch. His mind was still there, as it always was, but distant, uninviting. This was never meant to be a dialogue.]
[ It's not a lesson she needs, she's still keening for the loss, it feels like something had ripped out something vital and on the way through had caught on every nerve, every muscle and rendered them from her. ]
(Yes, Prince. Next time, I'll ... )
[ She doesn't know, keep a closer eye on them? Yes, she would never let them out of her sight, now. Even if she was faced with someone like Parker again, someone who didn't want them around, didn't matter, she would do anything to never feel this again, to keep the others from it too. She doesn't have anything else to say, she'll crawl out of this eventually, she knows she must, and to that end, takes her time for what she'd done. ]
(I'm sorry, I lost control. When it...
I need a new datapad, mine became... damaged. ) [ rather she'd gotten too far entrenched, and it had overloaded with the scream of pain at losing so much. ]
[There had been some hesitation on his part, quickly crushed, to even speak to Adara. It was equally a truth they had needed to hear, and some of them had taken actions which could have just as easily resulted in danger to the other Hosts.
Angel's little tricks hadn't been what lead to Adam Parker's death, but they could have gone poorly, and he's not certain that she at any point considered that her actions may have blown back on them.
Still, he did not relish in her apology. It is no victory. Right now Adara understood something that the other broods did not yet. And in all likelihood it would result in them protecting each other better than otherwise. His personal wants didn't matter.]
It is of no consequence. I will leave another in your room. You may keep the broken one, to take to pieces if you like.
[It is an uncommon offer in many ways, not that she would know it.]
[ She's guilty as it is -- she had been too caught up, too eager to throw herself into a the life she'd been denied, to touch and to poke and to prod. It had been selfish, naive too. That things would just progress like they always had, and she'd just be a ghost to it all.
But she won't be doing it again.
Thankful, especially, that he was giving her a distraction. She doesn't know who exactly to be around him, to even guess what it meant via her usual calculations of those around her, normal or not -- the only authority she'd known was... well, Jack. But Prince couldn't be less like him. From Jack, this would be placating her moods...
... it doesn't feel like that. She'd let one of her own die; that was her fault as much as whoever else had caused this. He doesn't have to give her anything, and for that alone, she's grateful, the distraction is everything she could want, right now. ]
[The gratitude- in the words themselves and the way it seeps between them- leaves him feeling disgusted, and it is only through his years of practice that he doesn't allow her to sense it in return. The feeling doesn't rise because of her, but because she would thank him now, when she was one of those who had suffered most from him underestimating exactly how unbalanced and uncontrolled the other Hosts would be, left to their own devices. He wouldn't make the mistake of trusting them again, but future caution did not undo past mistakes.]
It is nothing. If you require anything else, inform me and I will see to it.
[ She turns sharp into that, she doesn't expect, and that hurts too -- belatedly realising that maybe just everything does at the moment and she needs to be less suspectable to the sting if she's going to survive.
But she doesn't have any of that in her right now. ]
(Thank you, again, sir - ) [ Parker back, she wants Parker back. ] (I don't need anything else.
[Blow upon blow, so much more effective than Lexa's aggressive accusations.
He is tired.]
There is nothing I require. If you are feeling well enough, you may wish to spend time with your brood.
[She was a stabilizing element among these new hosts. Her relatively minor indiscretions- well intentioned ones at that-paled in comparison to that. It was far easier to teach wisdom than it was to teach kindness.]
[ The memory - to be her only memory now she realises, comes up quick. ]
(Parker did want us when I met him. He said he was leaving, and it scared me so much I begged him not to go.)
[ And now she's worried, Ares didn't like her, she'd scared him out of the same thoughtlessness that had gotten Parker killed, so twisted up with worry at losing the rest of them too. It's bundling up tight in her chest. A worried -- child, like he said. Confessing it all up in the way children do.
Picks more firmly then, a path forward. She'll look after her brood, even if they hate her, she will. She won't deceive them like the vault hunters, but she will be there for them. ]
(I'll go to them. Will... Aoba be okay? He felt strange, for awhile. )
[ Worried for that too, but she hadn't been in a position to help. To busy clawing herself sane as to not hurt anyone. ]
[There is a hesitation- in his words and in his mind, more tentative than usual. This was not his- strength. He had never been deft at addressing the feelings of anyone. Not himself and certainly not others. It wasn't the way of his world. But it was his duty to answer to her, to send her away now would be cruel, even if this conversation of the kinds has already lasted much longer than he would prefer.
So he answers, eventually, to her fears rather than her words.]
It is difficult for some, [For some-] to be open. If their mind is a closed door, you can only respect that. Some would prefer to be known through action and words more than their thoughts.
[Should he tell her how he had been, when he was a young, foolish child? How he still was? They wouldn't-couldn't hate her. He knew that with a bone deep certainty as true as the ache of what he had lost.
The question of Aoba is no less difficult, although for different reasons entirely.]
I'm not certain. He was quite dangerous in that state. If you sense that from him again, please keep your distance.
[He could injure her, or force her to injure him. Either way he didn't believe the boy would be pleased if that were to occur, were he in his right mind.]
[ She returns in kind with a feeling of agreement and acceptance. She'll have to work to remember the first part, she's used to being a ghost in this -- but that's no longer true, her presence amplified to others through this. ]
(I'll see to him when he's awake again. If ... anything else happens, I'll ... call for you. )
[ She finds a safety in his surety, he might just be concepts, but they're solid, she realises. That was... new. She could muddle that out later, whatever it meant. She'd never had that before, even if it was only for the moment. ]
(I need to rest, I think, I'll... start training again after this. ) [ Saying thank you again seems redudant, but it's there, infected in her words. ]
[His power had been his, but he had felt the symbiote at work in it. It should afford the other members of the Nest some protection from him, but he can't be sure they would be as successful in routing him as Prince had. He would prefer they not find out.]
Of course. Be well.
[It is an impossible request, but while rest would not heal her wounds it may give her some strength to continue with them. The loss was real, but the Nest would not have survived this long if it could not continue on regardless.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
circumspector) wrote2016-03-14 03:55 pm
Day 165, mid-morning
There are many things to discuss with you. [You- you, all of you, everyone he addressed- the clear knowledge that it was not a personal message, but a shared one.] This mission was a failure. Do not think to see it as anything less. The simplest of exercises intended only to allow those unaccustomed to gain some small experience with unfamiliar places. A harmless excursion.
[There's a pause, like a breath, a cold wind going colder.]
It was my failure that I saw you as anything but children, incapable of understanding that your choices have consequences. It is not a mistake I will make again. Your actions have proven you to be irresponsible, dangerous, and foolish. And as a result one of your own has died, for nothing. Those in his brood have now lost something irreplaceable. Do not imagine this feeling will go, do not imagine this emptiness will be filled by another. It will not. You will never be as strong as you could have been with him.
[It is simple fact, even as they grew they would lend each other strength. Now they had one less to draw from. There was a potential they would never reach. He has been cold, he is still cold, but for those in Adara there is an echo, more than simple sympathy. A clear understanding of what it is they have suffered.]
Hosts are lost. This is the reality of our situation, but Adam Parker did not die because we sought to strike a blow against the ones who hunt us. He did not even die because he made a foolish mistake. He died because you made a selfish choice. Remember this, your decisions effect more than you. Even your own life is not just yours any longer. You should be at least responsible enough not to drag those who should be able to rely on to their death.
[There is little point to this, he knows. Those that had behaved poorly would not listen to words, and if they had not yet learned a lesson there would be more loss and more suffering before they did. Still, this is too soon for this.]
There will be some time before you will be sent on your first true mission. I suggest you use it to better yourselves, for all of your sake.
[And the connection drops- cleanly as if he had flipped a switch. His mind was still there, as it always was, but distant, uninviting. This was never meant to be a dialogue.]
no subject
( Yes, Prince. Next time, I'll ... )
[ She doesn't know, keep a closer eye on them? Yes, she would never let them out of her sight, now. Even if she was faced with someone like Parker again, someone who didn't want them around, didn't matter, she would do anything to never feel this again, to keep the others from it too. She doesn't have anything else to say, she'll crawl out of this eventually, she knows she must, and to that end, takes her time for what she'd done. ]
( I'm sorry, I lost control. When it...
I need a new datapad, mine became... damaged. ) [ rather she'd gotten too far entrenched, and it had overloaded with the scream of pain at losing so much. ]
no subject
Angel's little tricks hadn't been what lead to Adam Parker's death, but they could have gone poorly, and he's not certain that she at any point considered that her actions may have blown back on them.
Still, he did not relish in her apology. It is no victory. Right now Adara understood something that the other broods did not yet. And in all likelihood it would result in them protecting each other better than otherwise. His personal wants didn't matter.]
It is of no consequence. I will leave another in your room. You may keep the broken one, to take to pieces if you like.
[It is an uncommon offer in many ways, not that she would know it.]
no subject
But she won't be doing it again.
Thankful, especially, that he was giving her a distraction. She doesn't know who exactly to be around him, to even guess what it meant via her usual calculations of those around her, normal or not -- the only authority she'd known was... well, Jack. But Prince couldn't be less like him. From Jack, this would be placating her moods...
... it doesn't feel like that. She'd let one of her own die; that was her fault as much as whoever else had caused this. He doesn't have to give her anything, and for that alone, she's grateful, the distraction is everything she could want, right now. ]
( Thank you, sir. )
no subject
It is nothing. If you require anything else, inform me and I will see to it.
no subject
But she doesn't have any of that in her right now. ]
( Thank you, again, sir - ) [ Parker back, she wants Parker back. ] ( I don't need anything else.
... Do you... do you need anything from me? )
no subject
He is tired.]
There is nothing I require. If you are feeling well enough, you may wish to spend time with your brood.
[She was a stabilizing element among these new hosts. Her relatively minor indiscretions- well intentioned ones at that-paled in comparison to that. It was far easier to teach wisdom than it was to teach kindness.]
no subject
( Parker did want us when I met him. He said he was leaving, and it scared me so much I begged him not to go. )
[ And now she's worried, Ares didn't like her, she'd scared him out of the same thoughtlessness that had gotten Parker killed, so twisted up with worry at losing the rest of them too. It's bundling up tight in her chest. A worried -- child, like he said. Confessing it all up in the way children do.
Picks more firmly then, a path forward. She'll look after her brood, even if they hate her, she will. She won't deceive them like the vault hunters, but she will be there for them. ]
( I'll go to them. Will... Aoba be okay? He felt strange, for awhile. )
[ Worried for that too, but she hadn't been in a position to help. To busy clawing herself sane as to not hurt anyone. ]
no subject
So he answers, eventually, to her fears rather than her words.]
It is difficult for some, [For some-] to be open. If their mind is a closed door, you can only respect that. Some would prefer to be known through action and words more than their thoughts.
[Should he tell her how he had been, when he was a young, foolish child? How he still was? They wouldn't-couldn't hate her. He knew that with a bone deep certainty as true as the ache of what he had lost.
The question of Aoba is no less difficult, although for different reasons entirely.]
I'm not certain. He was quite dangerous in that state. If you sense that from him again, please keep your distance.
[He could injure her, or force her to injure him. Either way he didn't believe the boy would be pleased if that were to occur, were he in his right mind.]
no subject
( I'll see to him when he's awake again. If ... anything else happens, I'll ... call for you. )
[ She finds a safety in his surety, he might just be concepts, but they're solid, she realises. That was... new. She could muddle that out later, whatever it meant. She'd never had that before, even if it was only for the moment. ]
( I need to rest, I think, I'll... start training again after this. ) [ Saying thank you again seems redudant, but it's there, infected in her words. ]
no subject
[His power had been his, but he had felt the symbiote at work in it. It should afford the other members of the Nest some protection from him, but he can't be sure they would be as successful in routing him as Prince had. He would prefer they not find out.]
Of course. Be well.
[It is an impossible request, but while rest would not heal her wounds it may give her some strength to continue with them. The loss was real, but the Nest would not have survived this long if it could not continue on regardless.]