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circumspector) wrote2016-03-14 03:55 pm
circumspector) wrote2016-03-14 03:55 pm
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[ That white-knuckled determination reminds Ilde of those boys in the firelight for a moment. The desperation to feel, for relief. It brings her an odd kind of nostalgia, the kind of sad memory that is not exactly pleasant but quaint in its own way. In this remembering, however, it seems obvious to Ilde that such desperation is of no use. She is just as guilty, had turned her head to meet with Angel out of utter overwhelming need for relief, but some things become clearer to her when Angel needs her guidance.
One stumbling deer leading the other in turns, growing a little stronger with each attempt. ]
( I will kiss you as I would like to be kissed. You will do the same. And we will learn. )
[ Until they found each other in the middle. ]
One stumbling deer leading the other in turns, growing a little stronger with each attempt. ]
( I will kiss you as I would like to be kissed. You will do the same. And we will learn. )
[ Until they found each other in the middle. ]
Edited 2016-08-02 04:17 (UTC)
[ She slips down then, sinking so she's more level to Ilde, shifting to be comfortable, trying to let the tension slip out of her shoulders, shake loose the breath stuck in her throat. Takes effort, little by little, until she looks up from under the fall of her hair at her.
It's not so much saying it - but she leans in this time of her own accord, and kisses her again in barely a brush of a thing, catching against the sulk of Ilde's lips, lingering to pull away slowly. A thready exhale as she pulls back so far as she can look her in the eyes again - and figures that is enough to say that - alright, she could do that. They seemed far too suited to meeting in the middle, it seemed. She was thankful for it. ]
It's not so much saying it - but she leans in this time of her own accord, and kisses her again in barely a brush of a thing, catching against the sulk of Ilde's lips, lingering to pull away slowly. A thready exhale as she pulls back so far as she can look her in the eyes again - and figures that is enough to say that - alright, she could do that. They seemed far too suited to meeting in the middle, it seemed. She was thankful for it. ]
[ Oh no, oh no. She's a flood of embarressment and awkwardness over the connection all at once, and the warm, warm feeling that comes with the thought of Ilde in the same breath.
Little miss liar, manipulator, talks too much and always has a way with words, and right now she's got none. ]
( Well. She's uhm - she's... )
Little miss liar, manipulator, talks too much and always has a way with words, and right now she's got none. ]
( Well. She's uhm - she's... )
[ the amused, light feeling of a chuckle translates over to her, and sam's smiling, wherever he is. ]
( It's okay, you don't have to explain shit to me. It's good. I'm glad you two have each other. )
( It's okay, you don't have to explain shit to me. It's good. I'm glad you two have each other. )
[ It's not often he gets to walk with someone he can meet at eye level. Half the girls Bucky sets him up with have at least an inch on him - hell, even Bucky's youngest sister'll probably end up towering over him in heels.
His brow furrows at her answer, gaze remaining forward. ] You going with them?
[ The infiltration group. ]
His brow furrows at her answer, gaze remaining forward. ] You going with them?
[ The infiltration group. ]
( It's.... )
[ she's trying to be good and not saying anything but - ]
( It just happened. Sam, I have no idea... what I'm doing. I've never... )
[ Well "shelthered" barely covers it. ]
[ she's trying to be good and not saying anything but - ]
( It just happened. Sam, I have no idea... what I'm doing. I've never... )
[ Well "shelthered" barely covers it. ]
[ There's a nod then, and her arm tightens around his. It's - terrifying, going out into the field. So to speak at least. Finally leaving the safety her life had otherwise provided. Unhappy, maybe, abused, but as Jack would insist - safe against everything. ]
Yeah, nothing else for it. I have to touch systems directly the first time. [ one little hang up on her abilities. ] So it's better that I am there.
Yeah, nothing else for it. I have to touch systems directly the first time. [ one little hang up on her abilities. ] So it's better that I am there.
[ No sitting out if they can be useful, right? When this first started, when they were first attacked and brought to the Station, the idea that he could give something to the fight against a dangerous enemy... it was what he wanted, just in a different package.
Nevermind that he's one of the people in this group with no real experience in the field. Both of them are new to this. ]
It'll be just like with the ship. [ He glances at her, both eyebrows raised. ] Only... you know, more complicated.
[ A lot more complicated... He's actually trying to be positive here.
In the near distance they can hear a train pull out from the station, the unintelligible voice on the intercom system speaking in a pleasant voice. ]
Nevermind that he's one of the people in this group with no real experience in the field. Both of them are new to this. ]
It'll be just like with the ship. [ He glances at her, both eyebrows raised. ] Only... you know, more complicated.
[ A lot more complicated... He's actually trying to be positive here.
In the near distance they can hear a train pull out from the station, the unintelligible voice on the intercom system speaking in a pleasant voice. ]
[ Ilde's soft brown lashes lower, eyes closing, still and patient like a child courting a butterfly to land. She has no expectation, no demand from all this. For all her talk of love and kisses, she is overall chaste. Had Angel merely fluttered at her cheek it would have been more than enough. All of this was for affection and closeness, comfort and care.
She strokes the side of Angel's face, tilting her head forward and down in order to place her lips at her forehead, a physical gesture that this needn't be such a tribulation at all. ]
( You have been a good companion to me. )
She strokes the side of Angel's face, tilting her head forward and down in order to place her lips at her forehead, a physical gesture that this needn't be such a tribulation at all. ]
( You have been a good companion to me. )
[ She stays still for her. Eyes shut, and smile tucked into the corner of her mouth. Something whimsical to all of this. Not sure where to go with it all - but finding herself unable to care either way. Warm and light and happy to have her in close. ]
( You are to me. It feels so good to finally be able to be with other people. But with you especially... )
( You are to me. It feels so good to finally be able to be with other people. But with you especially... )
[ There is something to that, even for Ilde. Other people had been there, physically, but they had all kept a deep emotional divide from one another. There was no point to doing otherwise, not when death claimed another and another and another, not when they were all waiting to die. Watching the phoenix grow larger and larger every night when the Godking would release it into the sky.
But Ilde did know about tenderness, despite it all. Dreus had taught her. For all his evils, he had shown her how to treasure what one loved most. To keep them safe and whole, no matter what.Fuckin' ominous as shit........ ]
( I was not so kind when we first met, but you made it very easy to change my mind. )
[ Ew gross, bitches, stop flirting. ]
But Ilde did know about tenderness, despite it all. Dreus had taught her. For all his evils, he had shown her how to treasure what one loved most. To keep them safe and whole, no matter what.
( I was not so kind when we first met, but you made it very easy to change my mind. )
[ Ew gross, bitches, stop flirting. ]
( You don't have to be, if you don't want to. I'd have you as you wanted to be. )
[ Can't stop, won't stop, probably aren't very good at stopping.
That being said, she shifts herself up then, another kiss, this one is not so delicate so much as taken quickly. A peck she steals with a giggle. Eyes lowered to watch her mouth, eyelashes soft against her cheek, the pink flush up her neck and in her cheeks. A little bit embarrassement, a little bit the heat of being so close and kissing her. ]
( I think I like this. )
[ nope they're still gross and awful. someone stop them. ]
[ Can't stop, won't stop, probably aren't very good at stopping.
That being said, she shifts herself up then, another kiss, this one is not so delicate so much as taken quickly. A peck she steals with a giggle. Eyes lowered to watch her mouth, eyelashes soft against her cheek, the pink flush up her neck and in her cheeks. A little bit embarrassement, a little bit the heat of being so close and kissing her. ]
( I think I like this. )
[ nope they're still gross and awful. someone stop them. ]
[ oh. Perhaps this was a mistake. He’s never had kids (real kids), and never needed to give the Talk in any real kind of way, and how does he even know how girl and girl stuff is supposed to work and--
He does not even need this scenario in his head right now, they’re both like little sisters to him, frakking frak. ]
( You know, hon, I don’t think Ilde has a lot of experience with it either, so I think you’ll be okay, you know? Learn together. )
[ or find an actual lesbian to teach you about lesbian affairs. Or at least a female bisexual. ]
He does not even need this scenario in his head right now, they’re both like little sisters to him, frakking frak. ]
( You know, hon, I don’t think Ilde has a lot of experience with it either, so I think you’ll be okay, you know? Learn together. )
[ or find an actual lesbian to teach you about lesbian affairs. Or at least a female bisexual. ]
[ She's eager to take that positivinity and run with it - and it's in her mind, probably, but the air feels thick in her lungs when she inhales. The chatter of voices, the transient moment they are stuck in a linear dissonance. A moment of contemplation on the movement between states. Yesterday, they planned, tomorrow the would do, but for now they contemplated - and around them, the world spun on. Waiting, waiting, waiting.
Her fingers curled tigtly around him, comfort that he was there with her. The lights that taint the buildings in washes of colours. ]
But it's like you said, we help people when and where we can. [ breaths out, and her eyes are filled with the lights in turn. ] I am glad we are doing that again now.
Her fingers curled tigtly around him, comfort that he was there with her. The lights that taint the buildings in washes of colours. ]
But it's like you said, we help people when and where we can. [ breaths out, and her eyes are filled with the lights in turn. ] I am glad we are doing that again now.
[ DO U WANT HER TO ASK HUX, SAM. DO U. ]
( ... I guess I could look up on the echo- extranet. )
( ... I guess I could look up on the echo- extranet. )
Edited 2016-08-09 06:51 (UTC)
[ Although Ilde's smile does not fade, there is something serious there to talk about, so she rubs the back of Angel's hand with her thumb thoughtlessly. ]
( I have been... ) [ Afraid isn't the word. It really doesn't encompass her emotions at all, the hunger and delight that also comes with the uncertainty and guilt. ] ( Conflicted, on what is right now. )
[ And if anyone knows what she means it is assuredly Angel. All the things different between their troubles are set dressing to the core kernel. Vaunted as precious, special, perfect so long as they did the duty tasked to them. One angel above keeping watch, the other one below tending the earth.
But only so long as they did the duty tasked to them. ]
( It was not right for women like us to be powerful. But I am also tired of being powerless. )
( I have been... ) [ Afraid isn't the word. It really doesn't encompass her emotions at all, the hunger and delight that also comes with the uncertainty and guilt. ] ( Conflicted, on what is right now. )
[ And if anyone knows what she means it is assuredly Angel. All the things different between their troubles are set dressing to the core kernel. Vaunted as precious, special, perfect so long as they did the duty tasked to them. One angel above keeping watch, the other one below tending the earth.
But only so long as they did the duty tasked to them. ]
( It was not right for women like us to be powerful. But I am also tired of being powerless. )
[ ABSOLUTELY NOT. LORDS, WHY IS THIS HIS LIFE. ]
( That, uh. Might not be the best idea. Have you talked to Ilde about it? )
( That, uh. Might not be the best idea. Have you talked to Ilde about it? )
[ She swallows, her eyes down. Nodding, she understands. Jack would be writihing in rage to know the things she had done - least of all needing other people but him. In pressing these feather light moments against Ilde's skin. He reserved the right to her love.
But it makes her only more determined now. ]
( We are not there anymore. Here, we need to be powerful. As... far as I understand. The hive is as strong as we are. )
But it makes her only more determined now. ]
( We are not there anymore. Here, we need to be powerful. As... far as I understand. The hive is as strong as we are. )
[ :C :C :C ]
( No... we sort of had some other things to talk about. But it's more than that, I know she... she really cares about being pure.
No one cares about that on Pandora. Kissing doesn't seem like a lot compared to... a lot of the things I've seen. But I figure that's not... not really what people do here? I just don't know how people talk about it either. )
[ read the real reason she can filter the hive: someone learned to set a spam filter on their brain at like age 10. ]
( No... we sort of had some other things to talk about. But it's more than that, I know she... she really cares about being pure.
No one cares about that on Pandora. Kissing doesn't seem like a lot compared to... a lot of the things I've seen. But I figure that's not... not really what people do here? I just don't know how people talk about it either. )
[ read the real reason she can filter the hive: someone learned to set a spam filter on their brain at like age 10. ]
Edited 2016-08-13 13:46 (UTC)
( Yes... I... )
[ She knows. She knows it rationally but shaking loose this piece, like a physical thing inside of her body where all that guilt collects... It's difficult. Always easier said than done.
She does not know what it will take to sever it. ]
( It will come with time, I have to believe this. )
[ She knows. She knows it rationally but shaking loose this piece, like a physical thing inside of her body where all that guilt collects... It's difficult. Always easier said than done.
She does not know what it will take to sever it. ]
( It will come with time, I have to believe this. )
( Ah. )
[ well crap. He can’t really tell her to go to someone else with something like that, or Ilde, when she doesn’t even know where to start. The fact she brought it up to him at all is saying something about her trust in him. Hurgh, okay, here we go. ]
( You know maybe just tell her exactly that, what you just told me. Just be open about it, you know? Ilde’s not gonna get mad or offended by it. ) [ buuuut he also doesn’t want her looking up porn, because that’s not a great depiction of relationships. The sex, maybe. ] ( Just go at whatever pace you guys are comfortable with, don’t stress about it. If you feel like you want to do something more, tell her, and if you’re both comfortable with it, then you can start working about getting the technical parts down. )
[ well crap. He can’t really tell her to go to someone else with something like that, or Ilde, when she doesn’t even know where to start. The fact she brought it up to him at all is saying something about her trust in him. Hurgh, okay, here we go. ]
( You know maybe just tell her exactly that, what you just told me. Just be open about it, you know? Ilde’s not gonna get mad or offended by it. ) [ buuuut he also doesn’t want her looking up porn, because that’s not a great depiction of relationships. The sex, maybe. ] ( Just go at whatever pace you guys are comfortable with, don’t stress about it. If you feel like you want to do something more, tell her, and if you’re both comfortable with it, then you can start working about getting the technical parts down. )
( I guess so. That's probably the best way forward I guess. I think... It's probably not a good time to worry, we've got the mission to consider first. )
[ a pause then, thinking for a moment, and congrats Sam she is giving you a way out.]
( I'll talk to Cathaway when we get back as well. Just in case there is... Some kind of etiquette in the hive. )
[ a pause then, thinking for a moment, and congrats Sam she is giving you a way out.]
( I'll talk to Cathaway when we get back as well. Just in case there is... Some kind of etiquette in the hive. )
( Right, yeah, probably want to worry about that first. And, you know, if anyone would know, it'd be Cathaway. Seeing as she's... a lot more people than we are. )
[ one of the voices in her head has to know about this stuff, right? better that mom give The Talk, tbh, considering Sam is hardly an authority on lesbian tomfoolery. ]
[ one of the voices in her head has to know about this stuff, right? better that mom give The Talk, tbh, considering Sam is hardly an authority on lesbian tomfoolery. ]
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